Aside from dealing with personal grief, LOVE is the answer in your business as well.
Whenever we’re sabotaging ourselves, it’s because love’s not present.
When we’re afraid of rejection, love isn’t there. When we’re seeking approval, love isn’t there. When we’re afraid to sell or recruit, love isn’t there.
In every given moment, we are either SEEKING or we are GIVING love.
When we’re focused on personally getting something – a sale, a number, a recruit, a goal, approval – we are SEEKING love.
But when we’re focused on serving someone – a smile, a favor, an opportunity, a chance to feel good, approval – we are GIVING love.
This might sound too simple to be so powerful, but I promise you this is at the core of all behavior.
Our fears DO NOT EVER live in service. Our fears ALWAYS live in the pursuit of success and the avoidance of failure.
So the next time you notice yourself sabotaging your goals with fears, doubts, worry, anxiety, distractions, etc, I want you to do 4 things…
- Observe. Notice the thoughts & feelings in your mind & body. Don’t chase them. Don’t judge them. Don’t try to make them go away. Don’t get mad at them. You’ll only learn by observing, not by avoiding.
- Explore. Listen to your thoughts & feelings, paying attention to what you are wanting to avoid in that moment. It will usually be some form of failure – people saying ‘no’, you feeling embarrassed, not hitting your goal, etc.
- Love. Instead of fearing the failure, love the possibility. Love your ability to offer something to someone who might need it. Love the possible connection with another person. Love your doubts & fears for trying to keep you safe. Love everything. Love harder.
- Learn. Take the action, but not with the intention of getting the tangible outcome you want. Take the action with the intention to learn something about yourself, something about another person, something about the process. You don’t fear learning, you fear discomfort.
As soon as you reframe the intention for the actions is learning instead of succeeding, fear literally cannot live in your body.
So instead of thinking the more you fail, the more you succeed. I want you to change that to “The more I learn, the more I earn.”
Let me know your thoughts below.