While it is impossible to avoid people telling you ‘no,’ it is absolutely possible to clear your fear of it.
Once you remove this fear of “rejection,” you will have internal permission to take more consistent action…which will lead to more results, which will lead to the success you desire and deserve.
So let’s look at how to remove rejection. The world rejection is in quotes in the paragraph above, because rejection is a judgment.
When you offer people something and they say no, all they are doing is making a sound. NO is a meaningless sound. It means nothing until you pretend it means everything. You pretend it means everything when you have a desperate need for approval (which most of us do).
This deep need for approval causes us to create the pain of rejection, and so we create fear to protect ourselves from the pain. As a result, we often don’t take action, because we’re afraid of being rejected.
There is a perceived pain when people say ‘no’. We think it hurts because it feels like an immediate reaction. We might be embarrassed, feel less than, etc., and we think the ‘no’ is what did it. But it’s not what people say that causes the pain. The actual pain is result of deciding (or judging) we didn’t get the approval we were seeking in that moment.
This approval that most of us are seeking is a form of love, and therefore, when we fail to get approval, we fail to experience love in that moment. This lack of love is the actual pain.
The perceived pain is hearing the word ‘no,’ and thus, the perceived solution is to get people to say yes. As a result, people wonder things like, “What could I do different? How could I overcome their objections and get them to agree?”
But just like ‘no,’ ‘yes’ is also a meaningless sound! We make it mean approval in our minds. When we ask someone for something – inside the ask is our self-approval and the unverbalized message, “will you approve of me?” We pretend their answer is to both what we ask and what we don’t ask, when they are really only answering what we ask directly.
And no matter what their answer is, it’s the right one. Just decide that it is so! If they were supposed to say yes, they would have. Since they said no, they meant to say no. Even if you don’t understand it, trust that every answer is the right answer. If you do, fear of rejection can’t be created.
Furthermore, when you apply the actual solution to the fear of rejection, you’ll be in a better space to believe that every answer is the right answer. The actual solution is to solve the problem of seeking approval and love, so you must give it to yourself, unconditionally. Stop pretending people have the power to approve of you in the first place. It is and always has been only in your power!
What if, in every moment, you gave yourself love & approval? If you did this, you would walk around with a protective energy. You would not be touched emotionally in a negative way. Fear of rejection couldn’t be created. Remember, rejection is a false judgement anyway!
If giving yourself love & approval in every moment sounds impossible, it’s because you can’t imagine flipping the switch and approving of yourself all the time. That’s ok. You can do it in a single moment, though. Then you can continue each moment to approve and love yourself. Keep doing it. Again and again and agai
At some point you may forget to love and approve of yourself, but you can always decide do it again the next moment. You have to cultivate a habit of self-love and approval. A habit is not created in a moment, it is created through repeated moments. Use these repeated moments to remove rejection from your life and business, and you will be both blessed and a blessing.
If you want help overcoming your fear of rejection and creating repeated moments of self-love and approval, we are here for you! Schedule your private one-on-one session with a certified coach to see how we can work together to get it done. Visit http://www.pinkcaddiecoach.com/private-coaching to book your complimentary appointment now, or call 805-552-4423 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.